givng to much of myself

" I often find that I want to give too much of myself - a self who is still underdeveloped and isn't finished setting anchors in the tide." --Karrine Steffans

I must agree with Miss. Steffans, she is not alone in this feeling and for the most part she never will be. I too have done the same thing. I think however, that it takes a certain type of person to become this way and although having the ablity to care and love without boundary can be a blessing it is most certainly a curse. Love it self can be like air... when you have it you can breathe and everything is right, however when you don't nothing is right.

I can't speak for everyone only myself , but I find at times when it comes to love I wouldn't say that I was dumb..but I would say I could do too much. Sometimes your so deep into a situation that you don't even see what's going on around you, you don't see that your putting in all you have to give plus some and your not getting nearly half of that back.

Honestly, when your not even who you want or need to be yet that is a dangerous road to start walking down. Your going to end up giving so much to someone you don't have anything left for yourself...

C.Mone... the truth untold.....

days like today

its days like today when i sit here alone.. watching movies that i realize..
although i don't need a boyfriend, or friend that just so happens to be a boy.. it sure would be nice to have someone to make me coco and cuddle with..

C.Mone`....my truth

history

"history is written by those who hang heros"---- brave heart

a look in the mirror

Today I was walking into the bathroom and caught a glimse of myself. I had to stop, I stared in the mirror and had to say " I love you"...at the end of the day if I don't love me then who else will?

the truth..untold...C.Mone`

lies arent as easy as they seem

It takes way too much energy for someone to pretend to be someone that they aren't...sooner or later they won't be able to keep up the lie.
Its at that moment that you'll see who they really are.

You can paint a white horse with black stripes and call it a zebra... but as soon as it rains..its a horse again..

the truth..untold..C.Mone`

Release the Pain and Live

There comes a point in your life were you have to let go. I'm not saying forget, I'm saying let go of the things in your life that are preventing your own happiness. Sometimes we are the biggest obstacle in our own lives. Often times we become perpetual hoarders of negatively. Collectors of tragedy.

In many cases we keep individuals in our lives that do nothing but pull us down. They act as succubus, draining our spirit, adding poison to our soul, degrading our bodies, and bringing emptiness into our homes. Yet for some reason those are the very people we have such a very hard time letting go of. In fact you become so accustom to the negativity you depend on it you crave and need the loss of esteem, and degradation that comes along with.

You can be no better than a crack fiend or a heroin addict who allows a poison or evil to come into your life and control your every action. However, your drug of choice is pain. You keep people around who cause you pain, you attract people and situations who are harmful in a multitude of ways.

But this is no way to live it isn't healthy. Your slowly allowing pain, unnecessary pain to kill you. You must remember the cause, release the pain, and LIVE...

the untold truth...C.Mone`

my take on the one night stand

Those who know me know I'm am so nosy... I cant help it I get it from my grandmother. anyway.. I sat in my business and commerce class today when I heard the most upsurd random thing to be said aloud while someone is waiting for a class to begin.

woman: yea friday night ! came home at 7 after happy hour I  passed out on the bed my daughter came to check on me but I wouldn't budge.

man: why'd you pass out?

woman:well I went out cuz I'd been sick for a few weeks and I'd hadnt been feeling to good.

man: You know what a week ago I had a one night stand I was talking to this girl she said she
hadn't been feeling to good she was always tired, sore throat, headache, so I said cool well
lets go back to your place...and you know what like the next day I started having all of her
symptoms.


In my head I said you idiot... I hope you like death because... you've just got AIDS... first why is it cool to have a one night stand..this is where the term dirty p***s comes from, secondly if someone told me they came to the bar and was sick I would definitely turn and walk the other way it is certainly a time when swine flu is taking over i don't know about you but I cant take time off work I like money and have an adversion to things that keep me from making it... so next time if you think bout having a one night stand do the following check list:

1. do I value life
2. is this person clean
3. would my mother approve
4.how can this affect my money


the truth untold....C.Mone`